Bason’s Pick NFL Week 15

Record 133-76

Thursday:

Denver 24 @ Indianapolis 20

Saturday:

Chicago 13 @ Detroit 20

LA Chargers 34 @ Kansas City 30

Sunday:

Miami 13 @ Buffalo 23

Baltimore 41 @ Cleveland 14

Cincinnati 9 @ Minnesota 31

NY Jets 0 @ New Orleans 24

Philadelphia 23 @ NY Giants 17

Arizona 24 @ Washington 26

Green Bay 24 @ Carolina 23

Houston 6 @ Jacksonville 40

New England 31 @ Pittsburgh 28

LA Rams 23 @ Seattle 17

Tennessee 24 @ San Francisco 14

Dallas 17 @ Oakland 10

Monday:

Atlanta 37 @ Tampa Bay 28

-Bason

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I Know How to Fix The NFL

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So most fans across the country  probably have the same thoughts as I do about the NFL product on the field this season. “These guys are fucking trash!” we say from our couches as another quick slant is thrown too high, dropping the Doritos bag off our stomachs. There aren’t many teams that you’re willing to sit down and watch if they’re not your favorite team. I can name like 5 teams in the NFL, that aren’t my hometown team, I will enjoy watching, (Patriots, Falcons, Saints, Steelers and the Eagles) and it’s down to 4 now that Carson Wentz has torn his ACL.

Now, lets role play for a second and pretend I’m speaking with Roger Goodell. First off, I would say congrats and that I love his work. Then, when me and Roger sit down for a beer and chat about the league, I gotta pitch some ideas to him to try and make the NFL more watchable for the casual fans. Get better players? Easier said than done. Make it more violent? I think we’re ok on that front (CTE and all).

That leads me to my billion dollar idea. Lets stop flagging players for taunting. These are grown men out here getting paid to play football, an emotional game, just ask Mike Mitchell, he doesn’t seem afraid to tell you.

What is more fun than a good play followed up by shit talk? Nothing I tell you. They don’t (strictly)call you the “No Fun League” because you’re not allowed to smoke pot,  Josh Gordon. The players just don’t have chance to have fun on the field because you’re most likely getting a flag when you stunt on a corner for scoring on them.

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Nothing ruins the flow of a game quite like a dumbass penalty that doesn’t need to be called, and taunting is the definition of said penalty. We aren’t in the business of getting feelings hurt in professional sports, time to act like these guys aren’t cry babies. Tell them Charles!

Let the boys play.

Fantasy Football Is Heroin.

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No hyperbole. I’m coming off one of the most stressful games in my fantasy football life and I think I probably got 6 different types of panic disorders. Fantasy football is literally heroin, it ruins your life but there’s no way you can stop playing. Just not possible folks.

I started out my season 0-3, it’s nearly impossible to come back down 0-3 in fantasy. But, just like the Red Sox and David Roberts, I stole Carson Wentz off my waivers and then he destroyed everyone. I was killing it, Zeke was beating his suspension, now I am on the way back. Zeke finally gets the kick to the nuts, and now I lose him till week 15.

Not fucking good. I still came back despite that, I got Josh Gordon off the wire, Jermaine Kearse, I still had Alfred Morris, and Keenan Allen caught every TD in sight. I was rolling and destroying everyone while other teams fell. I needed a win this week to get in, and a loss from one of two teams to get in. An hour ago, I was up 88-58. Then, Wentz tore his fucking ACL, I’m playing against Gurley who rushed for a TD. Then, Russell Wilson decides to throw 2 touchdowns in the fourth, one for 61 yards, and one for 74.

All within 20 minutes this happened. Now, I have just the Ravens defense left, and my opponent has James White and Chris Boswell, he’s up by 1 point. Not to mention, Keenan Allen got tackled at the goal line and didn’t score, and Kelce got a TD called back. I once lost in the first round of a season where i was 13-1, because shady McCoy got hurt, and Javorius Allen had -0.04 points in an entire game. To top it off, I lost on a garbage time 1 yard TD by Ben Watson in the Monday night game. Every fucking season this shit happens to me, I feel like I’m on the worst trip ever off a bad dose of Heroin because this blog was written all on venom. Fuck Fantasy football, I can’t wait till next year.

Ohtani to the Angels

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Thought this guy didn’t wanna go to a big market? I guess he didn’t go to the bigger LA team so there’s that argument. He also gets to play under the shadow of the best in the world

and Mike Trout too. I really hope this also means that signing with the Angels, Ohtani will bring more national games for the Angels so I can see plays like this a lot more often.

I guess you can say the Angels have big player appeal? It would be a shame if he didn’t live up to his potential, but then again when has a Japanese player let down fans after they were hyped to be the “Next Big Thing”?

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MLB: New York Mets at Philadelphia Phillies

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P.S. At least he didn’t sign with the fucking Yankees

Bason’s Pick NFL Week 14

Thursday:

New Orleans 27 @ Atlanta 24

Sunday:

Indianapolis 23 @ Buffalo 30

Chicago 24 @ Cincinnati 19

Green Bay 20 @ Cleveland 9

Oakland 23 @ Kansas City 31

Dallas 17 @ NY Giants 3

Detroit 31 @ Tampa Bay 14

Minnesota 13 @ Carolina 12

San Francisco 31 @ Houston 21

NY Jets 38 @ Denver 14

Tennessee 27 @ Arizona 26

Washington 14 @ LA Chargers 28

Philadelphia 31 @ LA Rams 30

Seattle 17 @ Jacksonville 24

Baltimore 13 @ Pittsburgh 17

Monday:

New England 35 @ Miami 16

-Bason

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Bills Fans Are Like Amazon, The Second You Think They Peak, Amazing Happens

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With the Bills getting blown out during fourth quarter of Sunday’s game against the Saints, there wasn’t much to cheer about for the few remaining fans at New Era Field. However, that all changed when one man decided to get naked and bravely run across the field in Buffalo temperatures that were hovering in the low-40s. 

The 75-yard run by the nude man was arguably the biggest highlight of the day for Bills fans, who watched their team get blown out 47-10. During the man’s run across the field, hundreds of fans were cheering him on. 

Here’s some video of the incident that was taken from the upper deck. Unfortunately, we can’t show you the NSFW video from the lower deck because he’s naked, but you can check that out here as long as you heed the NSFW warning. 

Buffalo, a place of snow, football, and fans. Every week, we sit back into our cushions just waiting for another Bills Mafia video. Usually, when we see a new Bills Mafia video, it’s just a variation of slamming someone on a table, or setting them on fire.

Then, we get one that is completely wild from the clouds. The Dildo toss of 2016, and now the streaker of 2017, and yet another Dildo toss of 2017. He’s not your typical Bills Mafia guy though, he’s got the build of Conor McGregor and has the locks of a hockey player. He bursted off the bleachers and hit the gap, taking the carry for 75 yards and led the Buffalo Bills in rushing despite an embarrassing game.

Just like Amazon, Bills Mafia dominates the internet while at the same time not having an exact system, it’s the best of everything. When Amazon has a Prime Day, or National Holiday, their stock and Jeff Bezos’s networth skyrocket in the air like the latest dildo toss. I’m not sure what the Bills Mafia stock price looks like, but i’m ready to invest into them instead of bitcoin, upside fellas. Buy low, sell high.

Regardless of internet dominance, you need major media influence on your side. In 2013, Amazon purchased the Washington Post, giving them a huge advantage on the media landscape. This is the Bills Mafia’s next move, they have their brand established, and growing at a big rate. This weekend, Barstool Sports paid a little visit to Bills Mafia for the second time in the last 3 years.

Bills Mafia must buy Barstool Sports. The fastest rising brands colliding? utter dominance. Like, ’85 Bears dominance – like, college freshman girls vs. a bottle of Smirnoff type dominance. Whatever it takes, Bills Mafia needs to recruit their very best group of investors, put their chips, tables, and maddog 2020 in together because we needs these brands to merge like I need a cup of coffee in the big time.

Just like Amazon, despite a couple of distinct leaders, Bills Mafia is an open marketplace tailored to the common man, just trying to make a buck, and get a deal. Anyone can get a bottle of maddog 2020, strap on a helmet, and meet face to table in the name of freedom. That’s capitalism folks. ‘Merica. Also, tailgator prices are significantly lower than the retailer, always stick it to the man!

Amazon recently bought Whole Foods, giving them a niche in the food retail business. I’m assuming Billsmafia doesn’t go to grocery stores, so here’s a solution – buy a majority stake in George Foreman Grills, and a hefty amount of livestock to keep the Mafia nourished. Who needs kale chips when you got a sweet slab of tenderloins and a cup of milk straight from the Cow’s tit.

The internet is great, but what’s next for the Bills Mafia to be seen? That would be TV folks. Amazon recently got streaming rights to Thursday Night Football, this is it. These are the big lights Bills Mafia is yearning to see. This is where the similarities become realities, and the brands collide, the metamorphosis of the 21st century. Watch out, Bills Mafia WILL become an empire.

 

The Pontiac Silverdome: The Building that Survived a Demolition

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How is your Sunday morning going? Good? I’d wager a guess and say it’s probably started better than the Sunday morning for the fine folks at the Detroit-based Adamo Group.

The Adamo Group is the demolition company that was charged with turning the Pontiac Silverdome into just a memory this morning.  Some might say that a failure to bring down the stadium that was once home of the only team in NFL history to complete a season without a single win is the perfect metaphor.  There must be some sort of cosmic force at play that won’t let anything go right at 1200 Featherstone Road.  How else would you explain the fact that the franchise that drafted both Calvin Johnson and Barry Sanders, two of the most talented football players at their respective positions, has only won one playoff game in the last 59 years!

There hasn’t been an NFL stadium implosion related debacle since that time the Weather Channel set up a camera to film the demolition of the Georgia Dome, the former home of the Atlanta Falcons.

On the positive, the fact that the Silverdome is still standing shows just how sturdy the former home of both the Lions and Pistons is.  It is doubtful that any other sports arena, built in the past or even more recently, would be able to withstand such an explosive force.

Took Long Enough….

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*Mike Breen Voice* BANG!!!!

But then….

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*Brent Musburger Voice* You are looking LIVE at me reading those tweets!

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In all honesty, this move should have came before McAdoo decided it was time to bench Eli, especially in the fashion he did it in. Also, Jerry Reese undoubtedly sucked at his job anywho, he really nailed the Ereck Flowers, David Wilson, and Eli Apple picks (just to name first rounders). The damage has already been done, the decisions McAdoo made this past week were basically the millionth nail in the coffin.

Firing McAdoo and Reese doesn’t save the season, and actually might make the Giants look worse for stopping Eli’s streak just to fire them both today, but then again, Benny put all his eggs in Geno Smith’s basket. I guess thanks to Geno for being so trash?

Remember when the Giants needed to run the Super Bowl winning Head Coach out of town because McAdoo was such an offensive genius?

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Miss you Grandpa

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Cue the music!!!!!!!!!

College Gameday Signs Are Out In Full Force: Right In Tennessee’s Mug

It was only a matter of time until a Tennessee sign came flailing out from the crowd, they have became the complete joke of college football since they have botched their coaching search by epic proportions:

So, so many questions here. College gameday is in Charlotte for the ACC championship game between Clemson and Miami – and here’s this guy, in enemy territory, wearing a South Carolina shirt, and making a Tennessee joke, at a Clemson/Miami game. Even the Miami fan right next him is wondering, “wyd???” If you’re a South Carolina fan, and you’re taking shots at Tennessee at a Clemson game, you’re just fighting the wrong battle. Clemson just killed South Carolina last week yet again, at least take shots at Clemson to earn some petty points dude.

College Football Judgment Day is Upon Us

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*The Rock Voice* FINALLY, the best weekend of college football, has come back! Tonight starts out the first of five top 15 match-ups this weekend and I’m here to give you all your picks that you probably will end up fading.

Current Record on the year: 173 – 4 – 1, (I get the spreads earlier than everyone else)

#12 Stanford (9-3) vs #10 USC (10-2) Friday, 8PM EST
Line – USC (-3.5) O/U 59
Last  Meeting Between Teams- USC 42-24

USC has all the talent in the country, it always seems like they just fall flat at some points during a season. They have their typical two losses out of the way. Stanford is coming off their best win of the season, over Notre Dame. Also, no same team has ever beaten Stanford twice in a season since 1913. Records were meant to be broken.

I’ll take USC and the points in a battle of differing styles, and D’Arnold puts on a show

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USC 38-31
USC (-3.5) Over 59

#11 TCU (10-2) vs #3 Oklahoma (11-1) Saturday, 12:30PM EST
Line – Oklahoma (-7) O/U 63.5
Last  Meeting Between Teams- Oklahoma 38-20

TCU comes into this game looking to spoil the Sooners shot at the CFP, and they are doing it close to home. TCU campus is located a cool 25 minute drive from AT&T Stadium, so expect the Horned Frog’s to have a steady diet of fans behind them. For Oklahoma, a W here would all but lock up a Heisman for our guy Baker Mayfield, so knowing these stakes expect him to put on a show.

If TCU wants to stay within the number, they’ll have to get a great game out of Kenny Hill, and I expect this one to be closer than expected. Oklahoma punches their ticket to the CFP, but with Mayfield getting the last laugh

Oklahoma 31-28
TCU (+7), Under 62.5 

#6 Georgia (11-1) vs #2 Auburn (10-2) Saturday, 4:00 PM EST
Line – Auburn (-1.5) O/U 48
Last  Meeting Between Teams – Auburn 40-17

Auburn has been on a tear, beating two #1 teams in the past 3 weeks (Georgia and Alabama in the Iron Bowl). Auburn is very reliant on their running game, and there are question marks in the backfield for the Tigers with starting RB Kerryon Johnson suffering an injury late in the Iron Bowl. Johnson has had over 100 yards in each other last 4 games, and if he is absent it’ll be a big adjustment for Auburn. Georgia has not disappointed, with the exception of the Auburn game, all season. It is also very difficult to beat a top tier team twice in three weeks.

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Georgia 23-17
Georgia (+1.5), Georgia ML, Under 48

#7 Miami (10-1) vs #1 Clemson (11-1) Saturday, 8:00 PM EST
Line – Clemson (-9.5) O/U 46.5

These teams have not met this season so there will be a feeling out process at the beginning of this one, I have a feeling the offenses won’t be able to find a rhythm to start so bonus take the 1st half under, if that doesn’t work it’s not my fault you took my advice. Both of these defenses are fast and hungry, winner of this one is all but guaranteed a birth in the CFP. Miami is 2-9 this season going under the O/U so look out for that, but I think Clemson has the fire power and experience to win and cover.

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Clemson 27-10
Clemson (-9.5), Under 46.5

#8 Ohio State (10-2) vs #4 Wisconsin (12-0) Saturday, 8:00 PM EST
Line – Ohio State (-6.0) O/U 51

Wisconsin is the lone team in the Power 5 that is still undefeated at this point, and they have been catching some heat for their scheduling. I am one of those people giving them shit for it. Look, when the best team you’ve played all year is a sorry ass Michigan team at home, you deserve it. But could this be the year for the Badgers? Do they have the recipe? JT Barrett is hobbled, Ohio State doesn’t look as great as they usually do. But, I’ll always take the Buckeyes over Wisconsin until they prove otherwise.

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Ohio State 34-20

Ohio State (-6.0), Over 51

Recap: USC -3.5, Over 59
TCU +7, Under 62.5
Georgia ML and +1.5, Under 48
Clemson -9.5, Under 46.5
Ohio State -6.5, Over 51

Thanks for bearing through this MLA formatted essay and good luck this weekend

PS There’s gotta be a scandal coming to Florida State right? Jimbo Fisher basically had to wait until Bobby Bowden couldn’t speak to snag that job, and he just up and runs to one of the weaker SEC jobs? Just remember who called it first when something comes out