College Football Is Approaching And One Thing Is For Sure: The SEC Should Secede And Become It’s Own Country

In the United States, we are blessed to be the only country that obsesses or gives even the slightest shit about college sports.

Unless you live in the Northeast like me, where college sports culture blows.

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As for the schools in the Southeastern Conference, the culture is a whole different planet. Just for quick perspective, the SEC Network is valued at $4.692 billion dollars, while Big Ten Network is at $1.142 billion, and Pac-12 network lags behind at $305 Million (@SECcountry).

In the south, the culture of sports (mostly football) and college life is any 18-year old’s dream. I might or might not be an 18 year old going to an SEC school next year but who knows lol….

Over the very coveted spring break week… not 1.. not 2…. but FIVE SEC schools broke the top 10 for spring break arrests. South Carolina at #1, Bama at #2, Auburn at #3, Ole Miss at #5, Georgia at #6, Texas A&M at #7, and Mississippi State rounds out at number 10.

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I am from Massachusetts, so i really do not have a clue how the everyday life is down there. But one thing is for sure, those people do not go to bed at night with any partying regrets. They go to bed face down in a bail of hay passed out drunk on Jack Daniels with a straw hat on and what remnants there is from a giant bowl of crayfish.

In every society since the beginning of time, there is always a part of that society that is there, but does not conform to the group at all and really, does not belong.

That outsider is Vanderbilt, who’s idiot idea was it to put Vandy in a conference known for boozing, greek life, and football??? someone tell me because it doesn’t make sense. They’re an Ivy League caliber school put in Tennessee, and in the SEC conference? That wouldn’t be a big deal if they were good at sports like Stanford is. But they literally stink up the joint in every sport except baseball, and they even suck at that this season. I am not trying to be foul towards Vandy (pun intended), but they do not fit in well for the SEC.

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And just like the United States, we have a colonized area that we bag on and do not help them, just bury them. Mizzou is like the Puerto Rico of the SEC, the SEC does not give a rats-ass about them and continues to pummel them. As a matter of fact, i believe Alabama is still on trial for a 2014 first-degree murder of the Mizzou football program.

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A couple of very interesting stories dropped lately from SEC football that triggered me to publish this blog. Apparently, Jim McElwain or his evil twin Mim JcElwain have a fondness for taking pictures humping dead sharks in the nude.

This photo is pure gold. No doubt will become a College Gameday sign.

First off, this guy does look identical to McElwain… spitting image. Honestly, the best part about this whole story is the fact the media directly asked him about this photo, rather than football in a presser, and now he is starting to get pissed about it. Jim, this is the type of arrogance that results in a loss to Florida State and Alabama every season. Stop humping sharks and work on the spread offense Jimbo (pun also intended).

The second story that jumped up to the top of the sports world was Ed Orgeron’s drinking habits. This guy parties hardcore, completely dedicated to the sauce. He said he downs 8-10…. Monsters….. Monster energy drinks per day. He somehow believes that it helps LSU work faster ?? No Ed, it makes you seem like your a 13-year old who listens to scream-o music, wears a skull beanie when its 96 degrees out, and has a bad relationship with his dad.

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Ed Orgeron is a perfect SEC guy, completely understand why LSU inked his services. Players benefit right away, the become fluent in at least two languages off the bat, English, and Orgeron. Seriously, this guy sounds like the chronic smoker who speaks through a hole in his throat. He also put one of his players on a straight gumbo diet and the kid lost 60 pounds… that’s the most Louisiana thing i have ever heard.

It is time for the SEC to secede and become their own colony. They are in a country that does not understand nor live the way good SEC people live. Too bad you went to some liberal arts school in Northern Vermont because i do not want to miss this. If they were to become their own country, they would need political leadership. Nick Saban would no doubt become the president because he already owns the SEC. And Jim McElwain would become the VP because, what is political leadership if someone in it has not sexually assaulted something?

Boozing, Football, Crayfish, Monster Energy, Shark Humping, and getting arrested.


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Categories: NCAA

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