Category: NBA

Thank Fuck The Orlando Summer League Finally Got Cancelled

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Hoops Rumors:

The Magic won’t host their summer league in 2018, according to Josh Robbins of The Orlando Sentinel. Instead, Orlando will join most of the rest of the league with an entry in the Las Vegas Summer League.

You’re about 4 years too late NBA. The Orlando Summer League is like getting shitty pizza when you’re loaded because there’s only one spot open. It’s crap, it’s at a premium, but it’s there. The Orlando Magic summer league is the worst collection of teams to play summer league literally every season. It’s always the teams the draft like shit or the middle of the pack teams that have no marquee prospects. It’s like the Magic, Pistons, Thunder, Knicks, Heat and so on.

It’s complete barf because it’s basically a glorified D-League. I think Mario Hezonja was the top prospect last season in that summer league and this dude SUCKS eggs in the NBA. On top of it, don’t you think it’s a bad business decision to have live NBA games in a practice gym, in Orlando of all places, where the bleachers are no bigger than the average charter school?

Las Vegas has a legit arena, ya know – where they can sell legit tickets and make killer money. People are on vacation in Florida, want to see a game, and get a glorified YMCA men’s league game, probably in a worse gym. Which makes the viewing experience even more boring, It’s like watching golf with some shoe squeaks. Good riddance Orlando Summer League, glad the Magic sacked up and joined the big boys.

What We Learned About the Celtics and Warriors

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After last night’s heavyweight matchup between the 13-2 Boston Celtics and the 11-3 Golden State Warriors, the NBA Universe was overcome with shock and awe. With Boston’s 13 game win streak on the line, many fans did not expect the performance that was to follow. Here are my quick hitting points from the game, and what we truly learned:

The Boston Celtics are the Realest of Real

Six minutes into the NBA season, and his Celtics career, Gordon Hayward, the recipient of a 4 year, $128million contract this past offseason, broke his ankle, and to most fans, effectively ended the Celtics’ title chances. Since that game, a loss, 110-107 to the reigning Eastern Conference champions, the Cleveland Cavaliers, and a subsequent loss to the Milwaukee Bucks, the Celtics are 14-0. Kyrie Irving has turned into the leader all of Celtics nation wanted him to be, even with his porous shooting through the early stages of the season. Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown have been more than impressive, with the latter having his best season yet, averaging 15PPG and 7RPG. The competition for these first 16 games has not been the best, I will say that, with wins against a non-Kawhi Leonard San Antonio Spurs, the lowly Lakers, and the even lower Brooklyn Nets. However, with wins against Oklahoma City, Toronto, and now Golden State, this team doesn’t only look like a team of the future (@ Steve Kerr), this team looks like a team of the present.

Stephen Curry is Truly the MVP of the Golden State Warriors

Preface: I am a Steph Curry hater. I don’t like the way he plays; he honestly just irks me to my inner soul. But real recognize real, Steph Curry is the most important player on that team, hands down. Curry finished last night with a line of 9-6-5, and his shooting looks plain off, going only 2-9 from the three-point arc, and committing 4 turnovers. Obviously the Warriors have four unbelievable players on their team, four Hall of Fame caliber players in my opinion, but to say that someone is more valuable to the team than Stephen Curry? Asinine. Curry is the engine that makes the train run, the floor general, the vocal leader on and off the court. A team is only as good as its best player, and its best player is not Kevin Durant, its best player is Wardell Stephen Curry.

 

Marcus Smart is Expendable

“With the 6th overall pick, in the 2014 NBA Draft, the Boston Celtics select…Marcus Smart, Point Guard, Oklahoma State University” GOD HELP MY SOUL. Smart’s lackluster effort on the offensive end last night, (0-7 FG, 0-3 3PT, 1-2 FT, along with 3TOs) leads me to finally call him an expendable asset for the Boston Celtics. Smart’s jump shot is less than inconsistent, it’s unreliable. His passing ability and rebounding skills are more than competent, but his jump shot and offensive promise just isn’t there. Obviously, Smart’s defenders will say that his defense makes up for his awful offensive game, which it does, to an extent. But there’s no such thing as just defensive basketball. Scoring points wins games, and with the ball in Marcus Smart’s hands, at least when he’s shooting, yea, I’ll pass. Moreover, the emergence of Terry Rozier as a rising talent for this team leads Smart to become expendable, especially while his contract his up at the end of this season, and he will become a Restricted Free Agent.

 

Brad Stevens is the Coach of the Year

Already? Yes, already. Stevens has coached the Celtics to a 14-2 record through 16 games, all without Hayward, 2 without Al Horford, and 1 without Kyrie Irving. Stevens has engineered two 18-point comebacks, one on the road at Oklahoma City, and the other at home against the Charlotte Hornets, not to mention the 17-point comeback last night (TWICE) against the reigning champs. Somehow it will go to Steve Kerr though *shrugs*.

-Del

Steph Curry Kicked A Basketball In The Hoop; Bleacher Report Obvious Came To The Moon After

Regardless of how great the shot was, everybody know’s Bleacher Report literally nuts out a truckload when Steph does literally anything. It’s exactly why he won a unanimous MVP even though there are multiple players more valuable than a one dimensional guard. This is exactly why the NBA should add “Social Media MVP” to the award show – and Bleacher Report should have their own cesspool show full of 13 year olds. Plus, we all know these Curry connoisseurs were Laker fans in 2010 (or were toddlers, take your pick).

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I’m Officially On The Chinese Basketball Bandwagon After Jimmer Fredette & Stephon Marbury Almost Put Their Dukes Up On The Court

Hot take, Chinese basketball is more intense than the NBA… there, I said it. I’m not just being sarcastic to get a chuckle or two. I have reasoning behind this:

If you skip to about a minute in the clip, the entire Beijing fan section is chanting “dumb cunts!” at the opposing team in Chinese. If somebody did that in the NBA fan section it’s a story on first take for a week and Adam Silver would probably have to do a press release.

Not in China, the millennials haven’t stretched their wings into international waters to ruin that yet… lol. Seriously, if you turn Jimmer Fredette from his BYU mormon former self, into a gritty killer on the court who wants to fight Stephon Marbury than you’re doing it right.

LiAngelo Ball really cucked himself, this dude is obviously no NBA prospect, we all know that. He could have gone into Chinese basketball, made a pro living, and played in that atmosphere. Nah, he wanted Louis Vuitton sunglasses that honestly, were probably fake. Wouldn’t shock me if that shop was a rip off Vuitton establishment that sells fake shit for $10 when it’s made for $1. They are probably one of those places that advertises “FREE Sunglasses!” and makes you pay $15 for shipping and you won’t get them in the mail for a month.

On top of that skirmish, Jimmer balled out and the game went to OT.

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Cris Carter Calling Jaylen Brown “Jaylen Smith” Kinda Summarizes How First Things First Has Gone So Far

Pretty sure he was referring to Jaylen Brown the Celtic, not Jaylen Smith, the former Notre Dame, and current Cowboy Linebacker…

I cut up this video while I was watching it on YouTube, and it was definitely blog worthy. Obviously, this wasn’t a Sergio Dipp level fuck up, it was a normal one. But, I honestly feel this summarizes the way FTF has gone since airing in September.

With the way Nick Wright jumped into the spotlight for his LeBron takes, I would think this show would be exhilarating. It really isn’t, Cris Carter and Nick Wright don’t have the “in your face” debate rage that other debate shows have. To top it off, a 6AM time slot for a debate show is honestly stupid.

If you really look at it, debate shows were once (and still are) a hit for sports television. Now, the market is starting to flood like crazy. Just like when blogging started, it became a GIANT hit. But, now everyone and their mother has a damn sports blog. It’s difficult to separate yourself when there is a billion blogs. Same with First Things First in the market of debate shows. That’s why i’m so proud where Phade Sports has gotten in such a vicious market of competition.

I honestly like Nick Wright and Cris Carter – mostly from their appearances on Cowherd. If you want to make a baseball analogy, some guys are meant to be relievers. They’re good in short samples, but can’t handle being the starter. I think that’s what we are seeing here, but it’s honestly early. So, the jury is still out on that.

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Lonzo Ball’s Lack Of Aggression Is So Bad It’s Infuriating

Yes, the dude can’t fucking shoot. We all know that, the Lakers know that, LaVar probably thinks otherwise. Regardless, it was expected that his shot would suck. He shoots on his left side with his right hand, not practical. The number 2 pick wasn’t spent on Ball for shooting, it was spent on him for creating off the dribble, passing, and leading the break. You can’t maximize any ability if you play softer than the second unit of a high school JV team.

The best creators in the league, James Harden, Russell Westbrook, etc. All get to the free throw line on a consistent basis. You get to the free throw line by getting the rim and stuffing your fist down another guard’s throat. Lonzo is more likely to throw a pass on the wing and just trot to the other side of the court and not engage with the play. The Jason Kidd comparison’s are honestly bogus, Kidd was balls to the wall at all times. Lonzo has shown no killer passion at any point this season. It honestly kills me, because I am a Big Baller Brand connoisseur, and Lonzo is just mailing it in so far this season. Not good.

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Nobody Noticed That The 76ers Announcer Said Ben Simmons “Sucks In The D”

First off, this is bound to happen. When you’re a play by play announcer, you play around with catch phrases all the time, and everything is on the fly. It’s one of those “son of a bitch” moments in your brain after you make a solid dick joke slip on the air. It’s not the first time that this has happened, remember when Hubie Brown said Kyrie Irving was good “jerking off” the defender?

Phade Sports remembers, (also pepperidge farm).

If you want to get technical, I think Simmons is more likely penetrating the D rather than sucking in the D. He’s attacks the basket at all times. He’s at the other end of the fellatio game. Seriously, have you seen his chick?

gonzalez_twins-main

Idk which one it is, my sources have confirmed it is indeed one of them though. (Probably both), You all get the point. Dude is fucking CRUSHING the paint & the box.

In case you need perspective, Drake seriously sat in the nosebleeds at one of their games while he was on the prowl for these two smokes.

Drake
needed.

needed.

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Real Talk: What The Fuck Did The 76ers Do To Markelle Fultz Jump Shot?

That is fucking ROUGH! Shit looks like he was simulating the Shaq free throw mechanics off of NBA 2K. After I saw this video, I kept wondering what the fuck he did to his J. Who the fuck he is listening to, and why did he buy this shit?

That clip was from February while he was still at Washington. If you skip to the 20s, he pulls a nasty fadeaway jumper and sinks it. It was a pretty jumper, mechanically sound, and it dropped. Markelle shot 47% from the field at UDub and shot 41% from three. So… why the fuck did Philly insist on fucking with his J? Teams didn’t seek Fultz for his jumper. I always thought he was close to James Harden as a player. He’ll score at the rim by having sound footwork and above average body control, and keep the defenders honest with a decent jumpshot. James Harden’s jumper isn’t pretty – but it drops. Markelle’s jumpshot was fine at UDub, and it dropped at a good % despite having a Russell Westbrook esque usage rate. It’s one of those “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” moments, and I don’t get why Philly is fucking with his J.

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Michael Jordan Just Kinda Said His Own Team Is Garbage, And That’s Hilarious

Bleacher Report

Charlotte Hornets owner Michael Jordan said in an interview with Cigar Aficionado that he is concerned about the NBA‘s superteam era.

“I think it’s going to hurt the overall aspect of the league from a competitive standpoint,” he said (h/t Ben Golliver of SI.com). “You’re going to have one or two teams that are going to be great, and another 28 teams that are going to be garbage. Or they’re going to have a tough time surviving in the business environment.”

Well, he has a point. There are only two teams competing for a title, Golden State and Cleveland. But, Boston is good, Houston is good, San Antonio, OKC. Obviously there are still talented teams, but barring any crazy injuries, the throne will be chased by GSW and CLE. It’s still hilarious he kinda called his own team trash, Charlotte is a middle of the pack Eastern Conference team now that Nic Batum is hurt, and MJ makes sure we know that’s the truth. MJ knows what greatness takes, and his Charlotte Hornets are mediocre at best. The ceiling is the roof MJ…

 

 

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Imagine Working For A Journalism Degree Just To Fall Short To Mia Khalifa And Gilbert Arenas? Ouch.

Awful Announcing:

The weirdest possible pairing of co-hosts on a sports show yet might be former Washington Wizards star Gilbert Arenas and former adult film star Mia Khalifa. Starting Monday, Oct. 16, they’ll be hosting Out Of Bounds, “the world’s most dangerous sports show,” on Complex News’ YouTube channel. And Complex appears to have found some unusual ways to promote that, including covering a DM stunt between the two Monday. 

Jesus Christ. Name two more people to pair together that would be more volatile than this. You can’t. (maybe OJ Simpson & Stu Feiner). But, this happens often in the entertainment business. It’s a cutthroat business (Mia has a strong neck apparently). If you can put asses in the seats, you got a chance. Although, I’m honestly surprised Mia Khalifa can still sit down after taking miles worth of dong.

Seriously though, imagine grinding at 1AM writing a 100 page senior thesis to graduate with your journalism degree, get $40,000 in debt to get it, finally land a big TV job, and lose the big league gig to Mia Khalifa and Gilbert Arenas who is barely mentally stable.

I’m not sure what Mia Khalifa’s best sound bites are, the best I have heard are just nasally throat sounds, to be honest. One thing is for sure, no matter who she beat out for the job (ha ha) – she definitely had a meaner set of sideburns than the next guy. I don’t understand how she has so many views despite those sideburns. I guess crazier things have happened.

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